


Day 3: AU Settings Day

by notcrypticbutcoy



Series: Malec Week 2016 [3]
Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Heteronormativity, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalised Homophobia, M/M, Malec, Malec Week 2016, Romantic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 23:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7778182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrypticbutcoy/pseuds/notcrypticbutcoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soulmate AU, in which whatever is on a person's skin can also be seen on the skin of their soulmate. </p><p>Alec Lightwood has always been an artist. When he was a child, he'd draw all over his hands and arms. As an adult, if he runs out of paper, he crosses onto his arms. But the best things he writes on himself are the words he exchanges with a faceless, nameless stranger, who lives halfway across the world. His soulmate.</p><p>Or: In which Alec has a soulmate, Jace is a good brother, and the world really seems to be out to make this whole thing difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Before

**Author's Note:**

> I have been wanting to write this forever. Like, literally, forever. I love soulmate AUs, even though they're ridiculous, and I'm not ashamed of it.
> 
> This got absurdly long, so I broke it into chapters.
> 
> Everyone is human.
> 
> Warning for extreme heteronormativity and implied homophobia. I AM NOT MAKING ALEC STRAIGHT.

The first time Alec found out about soulmates, he was six years old. He'd been doodling patterns up and down his left arm, copying out of an old book his mother had been reading that had all sorts of pictures of flowers and pretty patterns and symbols, when 'STOP' had appeared on the inside of his arm, right above his wrist, near where he'd been drawing but not ruining any of his designs.

Well, he definitely hadn't written 'stop' on his arm. That wasn't even his handwriting. So, puzzled, Alec went over to his mother, showing her his arm. She smiled fondly at him and picked him up, setting him down in her lap, as she told him that, somewhere out there in the world, there was a girl destined just for him. And that whatever he drew on himself, she'd see too. Whatever she drew on herself, he would see. Pen, pencil, tattoos, she told him, were all shared—and, after slight hesitation, she added, "And scars."

"Scars?" He frowned. "Will it hurt my soulmate if I get a scar?"

"No," his mother said, brushing hair back from his forehead. "She won't feel a thing. She'll just find a mark."

"Oh."

"Somewhere, at some point, your soulmate's initials will appear. That means the bond is fully formed."

That was the end of the conversation. His mother pressed two fingers gently against the word written on Alec's arm, and smiled a strange, sad smile that puzzled Alec. Why was she sad? Wasn't this a good thing? He had a soulmate. Everyone had a soulmate. And so did he. And his soulmate was already born.

Although, apparently, she didn't appreciate being doodled on. That made Alec grin a little bit.

"You're very young," Maryse told him, quietly. "The bond doesn't normally manifest itself until you're a bit older. Nine, ten, eleven..." She trailed off, and kissed his temple. "Your bond must be very strong. You have to look after your soulmate, Alexander. No matter what."

"What if I don't like my soulmate?"

Maryse held his gaze firmly. "You're too young to worry about this, sweetheart. You understand? Forget about it. At least for a while."

"Okay," he told her. "I will."

He lied.

***

He was seven when he noticed a little red mark on the inside of his bicep. He looked at his other arm, and found one there, too. His skin felt smooth, just the same over the mark as around it, but it was pink; crescent-shaped, small, but clearly there. A scar, Alec wondered? A scar that his soulmate had?

When he was eight, he realised that some of the red marks stayed, and some of them faded. The ones on his arms went within a few weeks, but they kept coming back. Sometimes several at a time.

He got a long one down his cheek, just before his ninth birthday. His father frowned, and his mother looked worried, and Alec asked them whether it would go away, like the others. They said they didn't know.

It did. But they kept coming. Coming and going again. And Alec wondered. He wondered what his soulmate was doing. Wondered why his soulmate kept getting hurt.

His parents told him not to worry, so he promised them he wouldn't.

He tried not to.

***

When Jace Herondale first came to their home, when Alec was eleven, Alec hated him. He was angry all the time, and he shut himself in his room, and he shouted and threw things, and he wouldn't talk to Alec.

Alec had been excited when his parents had told him that Jace was coming to stay with them. Another boy of his age. He had his sister, Isabelle, but she was so annoying, and she always wanted to play with their mother's make-up, and drag him outside to do all these adventurous things. And Max... Well. Max was too young to do anything.

Alec had thought maybe he'd have a friend. But Jace didn't seem very interested in being friends.

It was the same as it had been every other night since Jace had come to stay. Jace was still awake in his bedroom, which was beside Alec's, and he was throwing something at the wall. Something soft, judging by the gentle _thump, thump, thump_ it made when it hit the plaster.

 _Shut up!!!_ Alec scrawled across his hand, without thinking, pen digging painfully into his skin where he'd been drawing. God, he just wanted to go to sleep. He wanted Jace to go away. He wanted things to go back to how they had been before. Normal. Easy. Less- less stressful. It was so difficult being around Jace. He felt like he was moving around a nuclear reactor that had to be treated with the upmost care, all the freaking time.

_Are you okay?_

The words appeared slowly on his skin, in neat, careful, looping cursive. Huh. It was pretty writing. Alec had almost forgotten about his soulmate. About the bond. He hadn't found any red marks for a while. He wondered whether his soulmate had been kept at home or something, so she couldn't keep getting herself hurt.

 _She_. For some reason, it felt sort of...wrong. He wasn't sure why.

Could he talk to his soulmate? Was that allowed? It seemed like cheating. Wasn't there some code? Rules, about what they could do? His mother had never told him about anything like that. And Jace was being so, so annoying. Maryse wouldn't let him complain, and Isabelle told him he was being a meanie-pants when he tried ranting to her about it.

 _My parents adopted someone_ , Alec wrote. _Four months ago. He's really angry all the time. He's throwing things against the wall._

_Why don't you go and ask him to stop?_

_Because he hates me._

_Maybe not. Maybe he's just scared._

Alec paused at that. Scared? But Jace was safe, now. He knew what had happened to him. His parents had told him and Isabelle that Jace's dad had died, and that Jace had seen it happen. So surely he'd feel better now?

 _But we saved him_ , Alec wrote, having to push his sleeve up further for more space.

_He might still be scared. How old is he?_

_Ten._

_Maybe he's not sure how to be friends with you._

That made Alec stop and think again. Maybe...maybe his soulmate was right.

_Thank you._

_You're welcome._

Alec waited to see if any more words would appear on his arms, but they didn't. He put his pen back on his bedside table, on top of his sketchbook, and stood up. It was the middle of the night, and his parents would kill him if they found him out of bed, but he could be quiet. He'd done this plenty of times with Izzy, when she had a nightmare and needed comforting.

He knocked softly on Jace's door.

"Jace?" he whispered. "Jace."

The door snapped open. "What?"

Alec took the other boy in. He looked...miserable, Alec realised. Red-rimmed eyes, bloodshot whites, pupils dilated and haunted, dark bags underneath. And there were tear-tracks dried onto his cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about whatever's wrong?" Alec asked.

Jace stared at him. He just...stared.

"Or do you want to talk about something else? Do you like books?"

Jace looked bewildered. "Do I... Books?"

"Yes, books," Alec said patiently, stepping into the room before his parents caught him. Jace moved back, and Alec closed the door, before sinking down onto the floor, back resting against the side of the bed. He looked up at Jace expectantly. "Do you like them? Do you like reading?"

"Sometimes," Jace replied, hesitantly, after a pause. "I- I don't read very much. I read the first three Harry Potter books."

"Did you like them?"

Jace nodded. "Yeah."

"Which one was your favourite?"

"The third one." Jace bit his lip, watching Alec warily. "I liked Sirius Black. But it made me hate Snape."

Alec nodded solemnly. "Snape's an ass."

Slowly, Jace sat down next to Alec. There were flowers drawn in red and orange glitter pen on the back of his hand, shimmering green stems going up his wrist. Alec wondered whether Jace paid any attention to his soulmate. Did he even know yet? Had anyone told him? Alec thought it was a recent thing. He hadn't seen drawings on Jace's hands when he'd first come to live with them, but he noticed them nearly every day, now.

"He tried to protect them, though," Jace said. He was becoming a little more animated. "And he made the potion for Lupin."

"And then told the school he's a werewolf," Alec pointed out.

"True." Jace grinned suddenly. "The bit where Sirius lets his head drag against the roof of the tunnel was great."

Alec couldn't help it. He grinned back at Jace. He didn't think he'd ever seen Jace smile before now. It was oddly entrancing, the way his eyes lit up and crinkled and that haunted look disappeared. Alec had the oddest urge to draw him with a golden halo.

For a while, they kept talking about Harry Potter. Jace asked him if he'd read the other books. Alec told him yes. Then they started talking about things Jace used to do with his dad—sports and running and learning how to hunt things. It sounded cool, Alec thought, if a little bit weird. But he didn't say that to Jace.

"I miss him," Jace whispered, suddenly. "I really miss him, Alec."

He was crying, Alec realised abruptly. Silently, tears rolled down Jace's cheeks, dripping off his chin into his lap, following the dried tracks that had already been caked into his face.

Maybe Alec had misjudged him. Maybe he wasn't angry. Maybe his soulmate was right. Maybe he was just scared. Scared, and sad, and lonely. His dad had just died, and he was in a strange place with people he didn't know. Maybe Alec had been unfair.

"It's okay to miss him," Alec said, as Jace sniffled somewhat pathetically. "It's okay to be sad about it."

And, before he could overthink it, Alec wrapped his arms around Jace like he wrapped his arms around Isabelle when she was sad, or scared, or had a nightmare. And he held Jace like he held Izzy, while Jace stiffened and tensed, and then, suddenly, relaxed, and hugged Alec back, resting his head on Alec's shoulder, tears soaking Alec's t-shirt.

They sat like that for a long time. And Alec wondered how, in a matter of hours, he'd gone from hating Jace to feeling sorry for him to sort of...liking him. Loving him, maybe. Because he sort of did, in the same way he'd loved Izzy and Max instantly.

Eventually, after what could have been hours, Jace pulled back. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, and paused when he took his hand away, eyes fixing on the flowers. He smiled. Alec smiled too.

"They're pretty," Alec said.

"Yeah. They are." He brushed his fingers over the drawing. "She's like you."

Alec blinked at him. "What?"

"My soulmate. She draws. Like you do."

Alec smiled shyly. "You noticed that I draw?"

Jace laughed. And that was the first time Alec had ever heard Jace Herondale laugh. "Yeah, I noticed. You only do it all the time," he said, teasingly. "Driving your soulmate crazy, somewhere, drawing all over yourself."

Alec grinned, and told Jace about the first time he'd realised his bond had formed, with 'STOP!!' written on his arm. Jace laughed again at that.

Hours later, when they could barely keep their eyes open and had migrated onto the bed, both leaning back against the pillows, Jace turned to Alec and whispered, "Could you stay?"

Alec turned his head so he could look Jace in his strange golden eyes. "Yeah," he said, without hesitation. "Yeah, I can stay. Do you have a pen?"

Jace dug around in his drawer until he found a rollerball, and handed it to Alec wordlessly.

 _It worked_ , Alec wrote on his wrist. _Thank you._

 _That's good_ , appeared instantly.

Alec smiled, and gave Jace his pen back.

"Goodnight, Jace," he said, once they'd both settled beneath the covers.

"Goodnight, Alec."

***

"Alec!" Isabelle gushed, bursting into his room one morning, a matter of months after his night with Jace. The two had become practically inseparable since, much to Isabelle's annoyance. "Alec, Alec, look! Look! My soulmate! My soulmate wrote this! Alec, look!"

Alec barely heard her. He was staring at himself in the mirror in horror, stomach curdling and twisting and clenching painfully as he took in all the marks he'd woken up to. Not just red, this time. Red, and black, and strange blues and greys. It would almost have been artistic, if it weren't so clearly so terrible.

Somewhere, somehow, his soulmate had to be in excruciating pain.

"Alec." Isabelle's voice was suddenly hushed. "Alec, what's that?"

"Izzy—" Alec's voice choked. "Izzy, can you please find Jace?"

"Are you okay?" She looked worried. "What happened?"

"I'm fine, Iz."

"Then— Oh. Oh my god, Alec, your– That's your soulmate."

"Iz—" He closed his eyes, and swallowed. "Jace. Please."

"I'll be back. I'll be right back."

Jace, because Jace was who Alec needed. Jace, it turned out, seemed to know a whole lot more about the soul bond than he or Isabelle did. More than his parents ever told them. More than Alec had ever been able to find out in books. Jace would know what exactly this meant. Jace would know.

And if he didn't— If he didn't, he'd make Alec feel better, because for some reason, Jace just could.

He couldn't tear his eyes away from those marks. All around his neck, black and blue and red, scraping down his collarbone and across his chest. A large grey mark over his ribcage, mottled with blue, and more around his wrists. And those red crescent marks on his arms that were almost commonplace.

Of course, he'd realised what they were, now. Fingernails. Marks made by someone grabbing his soulmate and digging their fingers into his soulmate's skin.

He felt sick. He was going to be sick.

"Alec, what's going on? Are you— Oh my god."

Alec turned to see Jace in the doorway, Isabelle standing worriedly behind him.

"Please shut the door," Alec begged them. "I don't want Mom and Dad to see."

"Alec—" Jace shook his head while Isabelle pushed the door shut, and dragged Alec down so he was sitting on the bed. "Stop looking at it."

"What does it mean? What is it? Is— My soulmate isn't dead, right?"

"No." Jace shook his head. "No, no, you'd know. But it's— They're hurt."

"I worked that out, thanks," he snapped. He rubbed at his temples, hands shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"I know." Jace swallowed, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "I don't know, Alec, I'm sorry. I really don't know."

Isabelle spoke up, suddenly, voice oddly small. "Why don't you write a message?"

Alec and Jace blinked at each other, and then at her.

"A message?" Alec asked.

"Well– On your arm. Like you and Jace do sometimes. You know, when you have those random conversations by writing with your soulmates."

"That's a really good idea," Jace said, already leaning past Alec to grab one of the many pens he always kept on his bedside table. "Here. Write."

Alec hesitated for only a moment, wondering what to say. He kept the strokes of his pen as light as he could while he wrote on the inside of his forearm, which seemed to be the least marked place. Even though his soulmate couldn't feel him writing, could only see it, for some reason he just...wanted to be gentle.

_Are you okay? What happened?_

He looked up at Jace. "Jace? How do you if your soulmate's dying?"

"The marks. They fade."

"All of them? Even ones you've written on yourself?"

"All of them. Anything on their skin fades from yours. And then if they die, they disappear entirely."

They spent the morning pretending everything was fine in front of their parents, little Max oblivious to their worry, but Maryse and Robert watching them with narrowed eyes as Jace and Isabelle quickly answered for Alec when it was clear he hadn't been paying attention, or kicked him under the table to remind him that he needed to act fine if he didn't want them to know. Alec wasn't sure why he didn't want them to know. He just didn't. It didn't feel right.

Maryse and Robert left the house at lunchtime, out to a work function even though it was a Saturday. They dropped Max off at a babysitter - Jocelyn Fray - and told the three of them to behave, and that they'd be back for dinner.

It was far from the first time they'd been left at home on their own. Alec had never been more grateful.

The three of them sat in Alec's bedroom, doing everything and anything they could to distract Alec from what was on his body while he glanced down at his arm, desperate for a reply.

Alec let out a cry, at three o'clock, when the lettering of the message began to fade in front of his eyes.

"Jace," he said, too terrified to be ashamed of the hysterical note in his voice. "Jace, is that—"

Jace had gone sheet white. "Alec—"

"It's going to be okay," Isabelle said fiercely. She was ten years old, but she gripped Alec's hand with the assurance of an adult. "Your soulmate's going to be fine."

Alec choked. "Iz, the marks—"

"It's going to be okay." It was Jace, this time, grabbing onto his other hand. "It's going to be okay. We're here."

So they sat in hushed, tense, horrible silence, staring at the words on Alec's arm, because they couldn't bring themselves to watch the marks of injury. Alec forced back a sob when the entirety of the first word disappeared, and then most of the second.

Until, suddenly, Isabelle squeezed his hand. "Alec, Alec, look. Look. Alec."

And Alec blinked, flickering his eyes up to Jace and back down, because he'd been staring at his arm for so long everything was out of focus. At first, he didn't understand. Until he realised that the second word had come back, full and dark against his pale skin.

He looked up at Jace again. "Does that mean—"

"Yeah." Jace smiled, eyes shining. "Yeah, it does."

They looked back down at Alec's arm, and, slowly, the first word began to spill back onto Alec's skin, until it stood out as boldly as the rest of the message.

Alec let out a breath. "It's okay."

"Yeah." Isabelle had tears in her eyes. "It's okay, Big Brother."

Alec let go of their hands, and instead pulled them both towards him. Their arms wrapped around each other tightly, Alec trembling and his siblings - because Jace was as much his brother as Max - giving him strength and support and love.

"Alec," Jace said suddenly. "Alec, look at your arm."

Alec pulled back from his siblings, and looked.

_I'm okay_

Alec frowned. "That's— The handwriting, it's different."

"Ask," Isabelle said.

 _Your handwriting looks different_. Then, because that seemed awful, _Are you sure you're okay? What happened?_

_The nurse is writing. I sprained my wrist._

_Does it hurt?_

_A bit_

There were long pauses between Alec writing and his soulmate replying. Dictating to the nurse, maybe? If there was a nurse, did that mean his soulmate was in hospital?

_I'm sorry_

The words were shaky, appearing on his right arm. As though— Oh. His soulmate was writing with her left hand so they could talk. Alec felt a strange rush of affection in his chest.

_It's okay. You don't have to talk to me. You can rest._

_You wanted to know what happened._

_You don't need to tell me. Maybe one day I'll actually meet you, and you can tell me then._

_If you're sure._

_I'm sure._

_Thank you. And I'm sorry if I scared you._

Alec smiled at that. _It's okay. You're okay. You should rest now._

_Yeah. Thank you, Soulmate._

A sloppily drawn heart appeared next to the words. Alec grinned, and drew another one on his other arm in the same place, neater than the other one, and wrote 'get well soon' underneath it. He went over it twice.

"You two are going to be disgusting when you meet," Jace said, sounding mildly revolted, eyes fixed on Alec's arm. "Ugh."

Isabelle slapped him. "Jace! Shut up! I think it's sweet."

Alec looked up at them, perplexed. "What?"

Jace rolled his eyes. Isabelle grinned.

"Don't worry," she said. "Now, I don't want to kill the mood and steal the spotlight, but I got this today..."

They spent the rest of the day, until their parents got home, talking about Isabelle's newfound bond. But Alec couldn't quite wipe the relieved smile off his face.

***

 _Are you feeling better?_ Alec wrote, two days later, once the pen from last time had washed off. All except Alec's heart and get well soon message, which was still there, faintly.

_Yeah. Thank you._

_You're writing with your normal hand._

_It doesn't hurt anymore._

For a moment, there was nothing, and then more words appeared on his hand.

_I'm nervous._

_Why?_

_I'm moving country._

Alec frowned. Moving country? How would they ever meet if his soulmate moved to a different country? Most people met their soulmates by a fate-created coincidence.

_Oh. Where are you going?_

_Spain. Do you live in England?_

Alec blinked. England? Why would he live in England?

_No. I live in America. Why? Where do you live?_

_Indonesia. I knew it had to be somewhere like that. You didn't notice when I wrote to you in Bahasa, when we were younger. My mum told my to try in English._

Alec smiled at that, and at the British spelling. It was oddly sweet.

_Maybe I should learn Indonesian._

_You don't need to. I speak fluent English._

_I can see that._

There was another pause, before Alec turned his arm over to write on the other side.

_Something bad happened, didn't it? You don't have to tell me, but you don't have to be alone. If you're scared._

For a minute, there was no reply. Alec wondered whether he'd crossed a line, or offended his soulmate. But then the words appeared, slowly.

_My mother hanged herself. My father tried to drown me. I killed him._

Alec stared at his arm. He read the words twice, and then again, and then another time, just because he couldn't believe what he was seeing. His soulmate's parents were dead? They'd died? And her father had tried to drown her? But how could his soulmate possibly have killed her father? In self-defence?

 _You mean, you escaped and your dad died?_ he asked.

_I hit him with a rock and he died._

_That wasn't your fault._

_That's why they're sending me away. Apparently there's some place that'll keep me in Spain. I don't know why they're sending me there. I don't want to go._

_It'll be okay. It might be hard, but you'll be okay._

_Could you write something? When I move? They're moving me tomorrow._

_Of course,_ Alec wrote immediately.

_It's weird. This soulmate thing. It's like having a guardian angel appearing in my times of need._

Alec laughed, out loud.

_It's like having a strange sort of friend somewhere across the world, he wrote._

_It's nice. I have to go, but I guess we'll talk tomorrow._

_I guess so. Good luck._

_Thank you, Soulmate._

Alec grinned.

The next day, he wrote. A hello, and then a 'how are you doing?', and then a random little drawing of a sunflower.

But he didn't get a reply.

He didn't get a reply for a very long time.

***

It was strange, really. After a few days, Alec stopped thinking about his soulmate all the time. And when a few months passed with no contact, only a little red mark - a scar - on the top of his collarbone remaining of the whole escapade, Alec forgot about the whole thing.

Well. He didn't forget. But he didn't think about it. What was the point? His soulmate was somewhere across the world, apparently not interested in contacting him. It was okay. He didn't need to revolve his life around the bond. Other things were important.

(The only time he thought about it was when he and Jace went out sparring, Jace teaching him things that his father had taught him. A splinter of wood had flown up as their staffs hit each other, embedding itself just above his eye. It bled, a lot, and left a scar through his eyebrow. His soulmate would have a mark where he'd cut through his eyebrow, he realised.)

Besides which, he'd just hit sixteen years old, and he'd finally admitted something to himself. He'd finally admitted that he wasn't attracted to girls.

He was attracted to men. He was attracted - god help him - to Jace. Which was absolutely ridiculous, because they weren't soulmates, and Jace was very clearly straight. Alec was gay.

He hadn't even realised, when he was young, that it was possible for a soulmate to be of the same gender. But maybe that explained why it had always felt weird to call his soulmate 'she'. Because his soulmate wasn't a she. At least, he assumed not. How could they be?

Jace, though—Jace was clearly not buying entirely into traditional soulmate etiquette. Which was very typical of Jace. He'd been dating other girls. Girls who were most definitely not his soulmate. And Alec knew people did that. He knew lots of people did. He was quite sure Isabelle would do it, too. God, some people didn't end up with their soulmates. It didn't always work out. People didn't always want it to work out. Some people rejected the system. Sometimes soulmates died long before their partner.

But Alec couldn't imagine it. Even as he watched Jace parade around with girls with a strange pang in his heart, he couldn't imagine being with anyone but his soulmate, who was somewhere on the other side of the world, across an ocean.

His soulmate, whom he hadn't spoken to since he was twelve years old.

***

It appeared the week before he turned eighteen. He was tugging off his sweatpants in the bathroom, about to climb into the shower, when he saw the bruising on his hip. By the time he'd finished showering, as he was drying himself off, his soulmate's initials had etched themselves into his hip, swooping and swirling and elegant.

_MB_

Alec ran his fingers over the beautiful, intricate lettering. _MB_. Mark? Matthew? Miles? Mohammed? What would his soulmate be called? When would he get to find out?

It was the first time he'd thought about his soulmate since he'd realised his sexuality, and his crush on Jace. His crush which, he was glad to note, had softened and disappeared in the last few months.

When Alec was finished in the bathroom, he picked up the pen he'd been outlining a drawing with earlier, and wrote on his wrist—which he hadn't done since he was twelve. Not like this. Not as a message.

_I hope you're okay._

He didn't expect to get a response. He capped the pen and set it back down, yawning as he climbed into bed. He was exhausted. He was also tired of living with his parents. He was tired of hiding who he was. It wasn't like he had a boyfriend - or wanted one, unless their initials were MB and they had his ink stains on their fingers - but it would have been nice to be able to talk about his soulmate honestly, like Jace and Isabelle did.

Isabelle and Jace both knew. Isabelle had confronted him about his crush on Jace. He'd told Jace that he was gay about a year ago. Neither of them cared. But he knew his parents would care. They'd care immensely.

So he kept quiet.

_MB_

He ran his fingers over the mark in the dark, under the duvet. The only mark he'd ever have on his skin that his soulmate wouldn't have. His soulmate would have his initials. Not necessarily in the same place, Jace had told him once.

But, somewhere, someone had _AL_ on their body. Someone whose initials were MB.

Oh, Alec wanted to find him.

***

Jace and Alec were both sitting in Taki's café, talking about Alec's first month at art college, when Alec felt someone staring at them from across the room. Jace was talking about something sweet Max had said when his first mark from his soulmate had appeared on his hand last week, but Alec couldn't listen, distracted by the girl who kept looking at them.

"You've got a fan," Alec muttered, jerking his head in the girl's direction.

Jace's face immediately changed to his girl-nabbing smirk as he followed Alec's gaze. But, suddenly, his face changed to one of shock.

"Oh my god," Jace whispered.

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

"Alec." Jace grabbed Alec's forearm, gaze fixed on the short, red-headed girl who was still sneaking glances at them. "Alec, tell me what she has on her arm."

"I can't see— Wait, yes I can, she moved. It's like... I don't know. Feathers? Oh, no, it's wings. Fluffy wings. She's drawn them. They're good, actually. Why?" He looked back at Jace, who'd gone white. "Jace?"

Jace pushed his sleeve up. Alec let his gaze drop—to a pair of wings. Wings that appeared identical to the ones on the girl's arm.

"Jace," Alec whispered, smile breaking out across his face. "Jace, oh my god."

"Are they the same?" Jace asked, gritting his teeth. "Alec, please—"

"I think so," he said. "But even if I can't see hers exactly, what's the chance of two people in fucking Taki's having wings drawn in the same style on the same arm of about the same size?"

"I can't be wrong, Alec. That would be so embarrassing."

Alec grinned. "Well, she's coming over here, so—"

"What?" Jace looked terrified. "Alec, what do I do? That's my soulmate."

"Yes, and you've been dating girls since you were fifteen to practise for this. You're always telling us how smooth you are."

Jace buried his face in his hands. "That's my soulmate," he said, voice muffled. "It's not the same. Oh god, oh god."

Alec couldn't help but be amused by the way Jace was behaving. Not only was it out of character, but it was exactly the opposite of how Alec had expected Jace to react when he finally met his soulmate.

"Excuse me." A voice, hesitant but not weak, made Alec turn away from Jace. The red-headed girl, who seemed even shorter close up, was staring at Jace's arm. Jace still had his head in his hands. "Um, I—" She looked at Jace.

Alec cleared his throat pointedly. "She's talking to you, not me," he said, kicking at Jace under the table.

Jace looked up at her. The moment their eyes met, the girl blushed.

"I'm Clary," she said.

Well. That was one letter right. _CF_ , were the letters on Jace's shoulder blade.

"Clary Fray."

Jace looked like he was either about to cry or kiss her. "I'm Jace," he said, managing a weak smile. "Jace Herondale. And your drawings—" Yes, Jace definitely looked like he was about to cry. Alec felt like he should leave. "Your drawings are incredible."

For a moment, Clary just looked at him. And then she smiled, widely, biting her lip as though trying to stifle it, and Alec saw in Jace's eyes that he was gone. He'd fallen for this girl at a smile and a mere handful of words.

Alec sure as hell hoped she deserved it.

He hoped Jace deserved her.

But he supposed that was really sort of the point. They would deserve each other. Because they were soulmates. And Jace...Jace was the sort of person who would battle anything to make it work.

 _Clary Fray,_ Alec thought. _Look after my brother._

Silently, Alec reached behind him and dragged a chair around from another table, pushing it towards Clary.

She broke away from Jace's gaze. "Thank you," she said to Alec.

He smiled at her. "I'm Alec," he said, holding out his hand for her to shake. "Jace's brother."

She smiled back at him and shook his hand, but didn't say anything.

"I'll let you talk," he said, standing up. A sudden thought hit him. "You're not related to Jocelyn Fray, are you?"

Clary looked up at him from where she'd sunk down into the chair. Somehow, in the time between Alec standing up and turning back to talk to them, she and Jace had linked hands. "She's my mother."

"Oh, god," Jace said, laughing. "Your mother babysits my little brother."

Clary blinked. "Max? Max Lightwood?"

Jace and Alec both nodded. Clary laughed too.

"Oh, well," she said, squeezing his hand. "It didn't take us too long, really."

Jace looked at her incredulously. "Speak for yourself. It took seventeen years."

"Except those ten years when we didn't have a bond."

"Semantics."

"And those fifteen years when we didn't know each other's initials."

"But we'd talked."

"Sort of. It takes some people forty years to find their soulmates."

"And that's tragic," Jace said, "but seventeen years is still entirely too long."

"You're so overprivileged. I bet your parents are rich."

Jace opened his mouth and then closed it again. Twice. And then a third time. Alec snickered. Jace glared at him, and then at Clary, who was also laughing.

Oh, those two were going to be absolutely fine.

 _MB_ , he thought. _MB_.

He was so busy thinking about whether he would be one of those horribly unlucky people who didn't meet their soulmate for decades, he didn't notice the man in front of him until they'd bashed into each other.

"Shit, I'm so sorry," Alec said, grabbing the man's shoulder to stop him toppling sideways, steadying his other hand so the coffe cup the man was holding didn't fall sideways and spill scalding liquid everywhere.

"No worries." The man flashed him a smile.

 _Well, fuck if he isn't beautiful as sin_ , Alec thought, taking in his styled-up black hair and glittery make-up and tan skin, and all those millions of rings on his fingers.

"Right." Alec cleared his throat when he realised he was staring. Just because he only wanted to date his soulmate didn't mean he couldn't appreciate and be attracted to other men. "I'm sorry. Really."

The man's lips titled further up. "No worries. Really."

Alec shot the man a weak smile, and side-stepped him to get to the exit of the café and back to his on-campus apartment before he could embarrass himself any further. Or be traumatised by seeing Jace and Clary smooching over the table or something equally nauseating.

His fingers rubbed at the mark on his hip absently.

_MB. Where are you?_


	2. During

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alec is drowning his sorrows, a beautiful man makes him stutter, and it rains.

Alec was sitting at a bar alone, drowning his sorrows, when a man approached him.

He'd come out to his parents, that morning, when he'd gone home with his siblings for lunch. He was halfway through his third year at college, and already selling artwork, with some help from Jocelyn Fray. And he'd decided that he couldn't hide anymore.

So, when his parents had hopefully asked him whether or not he'd met his 'special someone' yet (to which Jace rolled his eyes, Isabelle snorted, and Clary, whom Maryse and Robert had their reservations about for being too poor and common with not enough ambition, looked pained) Alec had said no.

And when they'd started speculating about what 'she' would be like, and how 'she' and Alec would meet, he'd snapped out, coldly, "Actually, I'm fairly sure when I meet my soulmate, it's going to be a him."

Silence had descended. An argument had ensued. Maryse and Robert had told him that they would not accept his passing whim, so he'd stormed out. To his surprise, it had been Clary who'd dashed out after him with comforting words.

So he'd gone to the bar, because what could he do but get stoned out of his mind after a day like that?

"Hey," the man said, sliding onto the barstool next to him.

He glanced up, hands cupped around a glass of whiskey. "Um, hi?"

The man's lips curled up at one corner. Fuck, he was pretty. Really pretty. Glittery make-up and wide brown eyes and soft black hair and god, how was Alec supposed to function around him? He was slightly drunk anyway, and now there was some beautiful guy trying to talk to him? Life really wasn't fair.

"I noticed you're on your own," the guy said, crossing one leg over the other, making his already-tight jeans stretch even tighter. _Fuck_. "And you look kind of upset."

Alec shrugged. "I am on my own."

"Drowning your woes. I can see that." The man took a sip of some strange, fancy-looking blue cocktail, appraising him over the rim of his glass. "Want to talk about it?"

Alec raised his eyebrows. "Why would I? That's the point of getting drunk. Forgetting."

"Ah, but see, forgetting things is unhealthy. I'd know. Trust me, it doesn't help."

Alec sighed. "I just came out to my parents. It didn't go so well."

"Oh." The man's voice softened. "I'm sorry."

Alec shrugged again. "It was going to happen at some point. My siblings are okay with it."

"It's hard, regardless," the guy said. "I know. Really, I am sorry. But don't underestimate a parent's love."

Alec chuckled bitterly. "I don't think there's much love there anymore."

"You'd be surprised." The guy smiled when Alec turned his head to look at him. "I'm Magnus."

 _Magnus. M._ Alec had given up being excited every time he met a guy whose name began with M. It wasn't worth it.

"Alec."

"Hm." Magnus' smile widened, and he set his bejewelled hand over Alec's. Alec jumped at the contact, heart fluttering wildly and cheeks reddening. Nobody had ever touched him like that before. "You know, if you're looking for something to make you feel better, alcohol is good, but I can think of something better." His eyes were filled with mischief. "Wanna get out of here?"

Alec's lips parted. Was Magnus suggesting what Alec thought he was? Suggesting that they get out of there to go and have sex? Hook up? They'd barely known each other for ten minutes! Besides, how did Magnus know that Alec hadn't already met his soulmate?

"I- I can't," Alec told him, shaking his head apologetically.

Magnus retracted his hand smoothly, and nodded once. He had a little smear of lilac paint on the inside of his thumb, right at the base, Alec noticed.

"May I ask why?" Magnus asked, gracefully, curious but not pushing. Which Alec appreciated.

"I—" He flushed. God, it sounded stupid. He knew full well that he was far from the only person who did it, but...it was becoming less common. People were less and less interested in saving themselves for their soulmates. "I'm—"

"Pardon me for saying," Magnus said, gently, "but I was assuming you haven't met your soulmate yet, because you're here and not in someone's arms. But if I'm wrong, I can only apologise. I would never wish to intrude on someone's relationship."

"It's not that," Alec said, shaking his head. "I- I haven't. Met him."

"Then...?"

"I- I just- I..."

Magnus studied him for a moment as Alec looked back at him helplessly, hoping that Magnus would understand without him having to say it.

"Oh." Comprehension dawned on Magnus' face. "Oh, I see. You're waiting."

Alec's cheeks turned instantly scarlet. "It sounds stupid, I just—"

"No, no, not at all." Magnus smiled. "Really, Alec, I think it's admirable. Whoever you're destined for has got a wonderful surprise coming for them."

Alec snorted. "What, my virginity? I think that's probably going to be more of a hindrance than an asset."

Magnus chuckled. "No, I wasn't talking about anything like that. That kind of loyalty to a person you've never met... That's the basis of a very strong relationship."

"Maybe," Alec murmured, nursing his glass between his hands.

"I must confess, I rather lost faith in the whole thing, for a while."

That caught Alec's interest. "Why?"

"Where I was born... They said all sorts of things about the bond that weren't true. And about the marks. I expected things to happen, and they didn't. People told me things. Did things. Hit me for suggesting that my soulmate could be male or female." Magnus shook his head, smiling bitterly. "Hope was beaten out of me."

Alec reached out and touched Magnus' elbow gently, horrorstruck and overcome with sympathy. "I'm so sorry."

"No." Magnus lifted his eyes and smiled. "No, it's okay. I've built my faith back up." He held Alec's gaze for a moment, and then said, "I should be going, now. It was nice talking to you, Alec."

"You too." Alec smiled. "Good luck."

Magnus nodded. "You too."

A strange, tingling sensation started in his fingertips as Magnus stood up, shot him one last smile, and walked out towards the exit. Alec frowned, flexing his fingers, wondering why he'd got pins and needles from holding a shot glass.

He had a streak of lilac paint on the inside of his thumb.

Alec's heart stopped, and then beat double-time. He spun round, eyes searching the crowd, scanning desperately for Magnus. Had he gone? He must have already gone. Alec couldn't see him. What would he do, anyway? Compare paint splotches? It was dim in there, anyway. The paint might not have been the same colour, or in the same place.

So, pulse tripping with anxious uncertainty, Alec turned back to his glass, and ordered another drink.

That wasn't the last time he saw Magnus.

***

Alec was exhausted as he queued up outside the burger shop to buy lunch. Well. Sort of lunch. It was the middle of the afternoon, but he hadn't had lunch yet, because it was his last year at university, and he was trying to get his projects finished up on time.

He wasn't paying much attention to anything except the dull throbbing of his temples, the sign of an oncoming migraine which he _really_ didn't have time for today, until the man in front of him turned around, and they caught each other's gaze. Alec's eyes widened in recognition. The man paused.

Alec waved the girl behind him in front, stepping sideways to talk to the man, because, a year ago, Magnus had made him feel so much better about his disastrous coming out, and he'd never thanked him for it.

Magnus narrowed his eyes a little. They were rimmed with black eyeliner, and a line of gold glitter. "I'm sorry," he said, "but are you Alec?"

Alec grinned. "Yeah. Magnus, right?"

Magnus laughed incredulously. "Alec drowning his sorrows at the bar. Wow. Hi."

"Hi, yourself." He bit down on his lower lip. "I won't hold you up or anything, I just wanted to say thank you, for that night. You were kind to me. I really appreciated it. And you were right. My parents are coming round. So thank you."

Magnus smiled softly. "Don't mention it. You're more than welcome. In fact, we should hang out some time. Grab a drink." Magnus paused, then added, "I'm not asking you on a date. I remember what you said. Entirely platonic drinks."

Alec chuckled in embarrassment, digging his phone out of his pocket. "Yeah, still no luck for me on the soulmate front. Do you want my number?"

"That sounds like a great idea."

"Here."

Magnus took the proffered phone and tapped his number in. When he handed it back, a text message was open, sent to Magnus.

"I presume you're in the swing of exams?" Magnus asked, nodding to Alec's student access card, which got him lunch at this place for half price.

"I am." Alec scratched the back of his neck. "It's my last year, actually. Art major," he added, before Magnus could ask.

"Well, then, how about we meet up for celebratory, end of exam drinks? I finished last year, so I know how good it feels to finally be done. I did forensics. And a fashion minor."

Alec's lips quirked up at that. Frankly, he was surprised Magnus had only done a minor in fashion. He dressed like... Well, Alec didn't really know what. Like himself, he supposed. Uniquely. Fabulously. With glitter and mesh and silk and daring lines.

"Yeah," Alec said. "That sounds good. I guess...I'll call you?"

"I look forward to it." Magnus smiled. "See you soon, Alec."

"Yeah. See you soon."

Alec glanced down at his phone again, only then noticing the new name in his contacts.

_Magnus Bane_

_MB_

And, at once, he remembered his momentary flash of panic, the last time he'd seen Magnus, at the bar, when he'd spotted paint on both their hands.

Alec stared after him. Was it a coincidence? It could be. He wasn't sure about the paint, and he hadn't noticed anything like that today. Admittedly, he'd been a little distracted by how beautiful Magnus was.

But...his name? Magnus Bane? The initials...

Well, he supposed the best way to find out was to wait until they met up for drinks.

***

"Come again?" Alec said into his phone, as he walked down the busy streets of New York on his way to meet Magnus at Taki's. Funny, really, that they both liked the same café, but had never run into each other before. At least, Alec didn't remember seeing Magnus in there.

"I'm not doing this stupid soulmate crap," Isabelle said from the other end of the line. "I'm abstaining. I don't want my fucking soulmate."

Alec frowned. "Iz, what happened?"

"Nothing happened, Alec, I just don't want my life dictated by a few marks on my skin. It's stupid. I'm going to cut it."

Alec froze. Cutting it. Slashing through the initials of your soulmate cut the bond. People did it, Alec knew, often if their soulmate had died young and they wanted another chance at love. Sometimes people got another mark, over the first one. Sometimes that was it. But if the mark was cut, there was no going back.

"What?" he demanded. "Isabelle, you can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's your soul mark! Your soulmate! You haven't even met them yet!"

"Yes, I have! And I'm not interested!"

"Oh. You don't like them." Alec softened his voice. "Give it a chance. There must be a reason you're bonded."

Isabelle sniffed. "There is no reason. It's stupid."

"No, it's not. Look at Clary and Jace. That's not just some stupid bond."

"Simon Lewis."

Alec's eyebrows shot up. "Clary's nerdy best friend, Simon?"

"Yes."

Alec bit his lip. "He has a boyfriend."

"I know," Isabelle said, voice hard and biting. "I'm not stupid. And they clearly adore each other. I'm not jealous, I don't even want to date him. I didn't notice until I wrote down Lydia Branwell's number on my hand and saw it later on his hand, too."

He didn't ask who Lydia was. Isabelle had so many friends and had a new boyfriend or girlfriend every month or two, and he found it incredibly hard to keep up. "Does he know?"

Isabelle sighed. "Yeah. He noticed too."

Alec was nearly at Taki's now, but he didn't want to hang up on Isabelle just because he was going for coffee with some guy he barely knew. Even if said guy could be his soulmate. "And did you talk about it?"

"He said he loves Raphael, but that he'd give us a go, if I wanted to." Isabelle didn't sound convinced. "He also said that he had been planning on cutting it, because he thinks if he cuts it, he'll have Raphael Santiago's stupid initials on his arm."

Alec really, really wished Isabelle could have had this conversation with him in person. He wanted to be able to put his arms around her.

"Okay," Alec said, gently. "So neither of you are that enthusiastic."

"No. And I'd have cut it already - Simon told me I could do it - but...what if I don't get another name?"

"Of course you'll get another name. You're twenty. Some people don't even have their first set of initials by the time they're twenty. And if you're not going to be in a relationship with him, do you really want that bond, all of your life?"

"I suppose not." Isabelle sighed again. "You're right. Thank you."

He smiled, shouldering open the door of the café. "Anytime. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Clary's here. She's going to sit with me while I do it."

Alec nodded, even though Isabelle couldn't see him, and scanned around for Magnus. "That's good. I'm glad you two are friends. I'll see you later at Mom and Dad's for dinner, but call me if you need to. I'm only going for a coffee with a friend, I'm not doing anything that can't be rearranged. You're more important. Okay?"

"Okay. Love you, Alec."

"Love you too, Iz."

He hung up just as he spotted Magnus, dressed in tight black jeans and a silky red top with most of the buttons undone, sitting at the back, blowing across the top of a coffee, eyes scanning across something on his phone.

Alec swallowed, and curled his fingers around the pen he had in his pocket. His heart sped up. He had to make sure Magnus wasn't his soulmate. He couldn't keep on with this uncertainty. He just had to confirm, today, that they weren't bonded, and that would be that.

"Hey," Alec said, as he approached the table.

Magnus looked up from his phone and smiled. "Hey, Alec." He waited for Alec to sit down, and then said, "So, does it feel good to be done?"

"It really does," Alec said. "My oldest brother and my sister are both in the year below me, and they're jealous as hell that I never have to take an exam again."

Magnus laughed. "Yes, I can imagine that would be frustrating."

Alec ordered a coffee when the waitress came over, and Magnus asked about his siblings—notably not his parents, however. So Alec talked about Izzy and Jace and Max, and Magnus, in turn, told him that he didn't have any siblings, but had friends whom he loved enough and were irritating enough to be his siblings.

As they talked, about nothing and anything and everything, Alec wondered how it could possibly be this easy to be around someone. It just seemed effortless. Pauses in conversation were comfortable, not awkward, and relatively brief, before Magnus brought up something else. Magnus talked more than Alec did, but then, Alec always had been better at listening. And Magnus didn't interrupt him, which was nice, because Alec felt like he spent his entire life being talked over.

When they'd both finished their coffees, and had been sitting in there long enough for the waitstaff to start glancing at them in slight annoyance, Magnus suggested they go for a walk. Alec readily agreed.

"Ugh," Magnus said, when they stepped outside to realise that the heavens had opened, and it was pouring with rain. "I hate New York."

Alec smiled, tugging his jacket tighter around him against the rain. "You haven't always lived here?"

"God, no." Magnus laughed, pushing his gradually-dampening hair back from his face. "I moved to the States when I was seventeen. I think my next stop is going to be Los Angeles. New York is far too cold."

Alec was about to ask where Magnus had grown up, when Magnus shivered, goosebumps erupting across his exposed collarbone. He wasn't really dressed for this weather.

"Want this?" Alec asked, beginning to slip his jacket off his shoulders.

"No, no, it's fine," Magnus said, waving a hand. "I'm wet already."

Alec didn't look convinced. "You're going to freeze."

"Not if we walk fast."

Alec shrugged, pulling his jacket back on and zipping it up. "Okay. If you insist."

They walked. Alec had to squint against the lashing rain, and his hands were freezing, even though he'd stuffed them in the pockets of his jeans. Magnus had to be glacial.

Alec was so distracted by their conversation, and by his slight concern for Magnus' body temperature (he couldn't help it—symptoms of being an older brother, his friends always told him, when they assured him that being the Mom Friend wasn't a bad thing) that he'd forgotten all about his plan, and the pen sitting in his pocket.

When a gust of wind blew down the street, causing the rain to scratch at their skin, Magnus shuddered, and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. Alec frowned.

"Alright," he said, interrupting the story Magnus was telling about his first week training in the forensics department at the police station. "I'm sorry, but this is ridiculous. Here."

Magnus glanced at the jacket Alec was holding out towards him, and then up to Alec. "I'm fine, really."

"Oh, for—" Alec rolled his eyes, and set his jacket around Magnus' shoulders. "I'm wearing a sweater. Just put it on."

Magnus' lips quirked up, and he shivered again as he burrowed what appeared to be involuntarily into Alec's jacket. "Thank you," he said, sliding his arms in. "My friends are always telling me I'm too stubborn for my own good."

"No, really?" Alec teased. "I'd never have realised."

"Oh, shush," Magnus said with a huff. "Don't be mean."

Alec laughed, and nudged him gently with his elbow. "I just gave you my jacket to stop your fingers falling off. I'm not mean."

"Hm." Magnus pretended to debate that for a moment. "No, I suppose not. Not entirely mean."

Alec grinned. "Well, at least—"

Behind them, a horn blared, long and loud, followed by the screeching of breaks and a piercing scream. The dull thud of metal on metal met Alec's ears, and he spun around at the sound of cracking glass and another scream.

"Shit," Magnus breathed, as they saw a car sliding across the road , leaving chaos in its wake, spinning and slipping out of control. The driver's eyes were wide, blood dripping down his face as his car span.

Alec, along with the rest of the street, stood staring as the driver attempted to get the car under control before the curve in the road. It slammed, bumper-first, into a Smart car, sending the smaller car into a tailspin across the road. Alec's eyes widened in horror as he realised that the Smart car was heading straight for them.

He felt fingertips dig into his arm. "Alec—"

And then he was being thrown sideways, stumbling and then tripping. He hit the pavement hard. The bones in his wrist ground together, white-hot flares of pain shooting up and down his arm, skin scraping against the concrete.

Alec's vision blurred for just a moment, ears ringing. When it cleared, and his hearing returned to normal, people were screaming again, and, right where Alec had been standing mere seconds before, the car hit Magnus with a sickening crunch.

Mottled marks, not unlike the ones that had appeared on him all those years ago, rose suddenly along his ankle,  exposed from where he'd been thrown sideways. He shoved the leg of his jeans up, adrenaline and endorphins combining to let him ignore the pain in his wrist, and saw the marks continuing up his calf.

He looked back over at Magnus, who was lying still on the floor not ten feet away, both cars finally at a halt. Magnus, who, Alec could see, had scrapes on his palms (Alec's palms were stinging and sticky) and a black line across his wrist (Alec's wrist was throbbing). Magnus, whose left arm was bent at a strange angle.

Magnus, who had just shoved him out of the way. He was the one who should have been lying on the ground like that.

Picking himself up off the floor, wincing at the pain in his wrist, Alec staggered towards Magnus, pen in his hand. He had to be sure. He had to be. No more guessing. He had to know.

It took him a mere handful of seconds to uncap the pen and drag its tip across the back of his hand. And, before his eyes, the same mark appeared on Magnus' skin.

"Oh god," Alec whispered, throwing the pen to the side as he reached Magnus - _his soulmate_ \- and dropped to his knees beside him. "Oh my god."

He could already hear the blare of sirens, and people shouting to each other about having called for ambulances, and _Someone, help me get this car open, he's hurt!_ which was the only reason he didn't reach instantly for his phone.

Instead, he reached ever so gently for Magnus. He didn't try to move him, because god knew what injuries he'd got from behind hit head-on by an out of control car, but he reached out to brush his hair back from his face, his other hand going to his wrist to search desperately for a pulse. He couldn't be dead. He couldn't be. If he was dead, the marks would all have faded. And they'd only just met, Alec had only just realised, they hadn't even—

Magnus' eyelashes fluttered, and his eyes cracked open. His pulse tripped under Alec's fingertips, surprisingly strong and steady.

"Hey," Alec breathed, leaning over him as Magnus made a whimpering noise that tore at Alec's heart. "Hey, it's going to be okay. Don't move. Ambulances are coming."

"It hurts," Magnus whispered, eyes gazing up at Alec.

"I know, I know," Alec said, brushing Magnus' hair back again, and then again, rhythmically, because he didn't know what else to do. "You shouldn't have done that, Magnus."

"I had to." He smiled a little. "I've ruined your jacket."

Alec choked out a laugh that sounded more like a sob. "I can buy another stupid jacket, Magnus, I can't buy another one of you."

The words were out before he'd thought about them. People always spoke about the first contact, the first realisation, when you met your soulmate. Touching them for the first time, kissing them for the first time, the overwhelming surge of affection and protectiveness that welled up inside you. Alec hadn't ever really understood, until now. How could your feelings about a person change so much by a touch, or by a label?

He understood now.

But Magnus... Magnus didn't know. To Magnus, what Alec had said would sound utterly bizarre (and slightly creepy), considering they barely knew each other.

But Magnus just smiled wider. "I'm okay."

"No, you're not, you—" Alec sucked in a deep breath, just as he felt a hand lightly on his shoulder.

"Sir, are you hurt?"

"No, Magnus, he was hit by the car, he—"

The paramedic asked him to take a deep breath and tell him exactly what had happened, while three people swarmed round Magnus, carrying oxygen masks and syringes and bottles and bags of equipment that Alec didn't even have names for.

"Stable?" one of the paramedics shouted after a few minutes, by which time there were all sorts of tubes and wires connected to Magnus.

"Yes!"

The paramedic who'd first approached Alec jerked his head at him, and said, "If you can keep it together and let us do our jobs without interfering, you can sit up front."

Alec took a deep breath, and nodded. He wasn't going to leave Magnus' side any more than he had to.

***

Hours later, after the paramedics had noticed Alec's wrist and told him to get it looked at, Alec was being directed into a room in the ICU by a young, kindly nurse.

"Isn't this the private area?" Alec asked, brows furrowing as they walked along the corridor from where Alec had had a cast fitted on his wrist. The fracture was small, thank god, so it wouldn't take too many weeks to heal and get the stupid thing off. Twenty minutes in, it was already irritating him.

"It is," she confirmed as they reached a closed door with the number 112 in gold metal on the front. "He's in here. He's not awake at the moment, because he just came out of surgery to realign his leg. It was a pretty severe break, and he might need some physio, but he should make a full recovery."

Alec let out a breath. "Was that all?"

"He hit his head pretty hard, but he only had a minor concussion. Few bruised ribs, which will hurt like a bitch, pardon my language, but isn't serious. Scrapes and cuts, but he was fairly lucky, except the leg."

The nurse smiled at him. "There's a call button in there if you need anything, and people will come and check in periodically. He's really going to need some TLC over the next few weeks. And lots of aspirin."

"Thank you."

"He'll be glad you're here. He kept asking for you when we were doing primaries, but we had to tell him you were getting fixed up yourself." She regarded Alec curiously. "You two must be close."

Alec shook his head. "No, actually, I... We don't know each other that well."

She frowned. "Oh." Her eyes lingered on Alec's forehead, and then widened suddenly. " _Oh_. Oh, my goodness, I'm so sorry, that's... God. He'll be okay. I promise. He's battered, but he'll live."

Alec nodded. "He better."

"Go on. He should wake up soon."

Alec thanked her again, and then, slowly, pushed open the door to Magnus' room.

Inside, everything was white. Alec wrinkled his nose as he pushed the door shut behind him. Why did everything in hospitals have to be so white? It was stifling. And weird.

His attention, though, was focused on Magnus, who was lying in the middle of the bed in a hospital gown, thin sheets pulled up to his navel, hands resting on top. His skin looked much darker than it really was against the white room, his hair a stark contrast to the colour scheme. The nurse was right—he did look battered, all covered in scrapes and bruises, a small patch of gauze above his temple, and, presumably, he'd have one of those enormous casts on his leg. But, however cliché it sounded, Alec thought he looked beautiful.

He sunk down into the chair beside Magnus' bed, and took Magnus' hand with his uninjured one. Alec had a red mark where Magnus had a cut on the side of his index finger, right underneath his black-painted nails. Magnus had red on the base of his palm where Alec's skin had been grazed.

Magnus looked...peaceful, Alec thought. It was strange. He hadn't really noticed the tense pinch of Magnus' features until it was notably absent. The room was silent, and very white, and all he could hear were the soft sounds of both of them breathing.

This was his soulmate. This was the person whom he'd written to, and with. This was the person who'd nearly died when Alec was eleven, and had absolutely terrified him. The person who'd helped him with understanding Jace. The person who'd just sort of...disappeared on him.

Suddenly, he felt like he knew Magnus so much better. Things he'd learnt today and things he'd learnt years ago all merged in his mind to form a basic image of who, exactly, Magnus Bane was.

"You scared me enough all those years ago," Alec whispered. "You're not allowed to do it again."

But he wasn't really worried that Magnus was about to die. He was worried - of course he was - but he knew it would be okay. The marks on both of them were strong and bold.

There was a blue biro resting on Magnus' bedside table. Alec let go of Magnus' hand, resting the fingers of his injured hand gently over Magnus' instead, and began to draw across his own arm. Flowers, first, like he had the very first time he and Magnus had bonded, years ago, and then 'get well soon', like he had the last time Magnus had been in a hospital. At least, that Alec knew of.

The doodles came out on Magnus' skin as Alec drew in some hearts, and shaded in the flowers, just because he could. It was so strange. All his life, practically, he'd known that everything he drew on himself, everything that came out on his skin, would be seen by another person. And now he was watching it happen, right before his eyes.

It was oddly beautiful.

The sound of his phone ringing broke the soft silence in the room. He put the pen down, halfway through sketching in a spray of lilies, drawing now more because he found it calming than because he wanted to entertain Magnus.

"Alec!" Isabelle's worried voice came through his phone when he picked up. "Where are you? Are you okay?"

Oh. Crap. He'd been supposed to meet his parents and siblings for dinner at his parents' house tonight. Damn.

Alec's eyes grazed across Magnus' face, the irony in his sister's question not escaping him. If it weren't for Magnus, he would be lying prone on a hospital bed.

"I'm fine," he said, keeping his voice low. He wasn't entirely sure whether Magnus was still under the effects of the anaesthetic, or whether his body had sent him to sleep to help him heal faster; if it was the latter, he didn't want to wake him up prematurely. "I— Do you remember I told you I was going for coffee with someone?"

He could hear the frown in Isabelle's voice when she said, "Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

He exhaled. "His name's Magnus. Magnus Bane."

Isabelle was silent for a moment. Then: "You don't mean...?"

"Yeah." Alec let out a weary laugh. "That's exactly what I mean."

"But that's good!" Isabelle said. "You've met your soulmate, that's fantastic! Why do you sound so miserable?"

Trying to keep his composure, Alec told Isabelle about the cars spinning out of control in the rain, slipping across the streets and tailspinning. He told her that Magnus had pushed him out of the way, and been hit as a result.

"He doesn't even know," Alec whispered. "And he still did that."

"Oh, Alec." Isabelle made a sympathetic noise. "I'm so sorry."

Alec shook his head, before realising that she couldn't see him. "It's okay. He's going to be fine. The doctors think he'll need physio because he broke his leg pretty badly, but that's as bad as it gets."

"Alright." Her voice was soft, soothing, as though she was trying to calm him down. Other than the fact that his heart was still pounding irregularly in his chest, he didn't feel too freaked out. Considering. "Alright. I'll tell Jace and Max and Clary. What do you want me to tell Mom and Dad?"

"Oh, god, I don't want to deal with them right now. Fuck." Alec dragged his fingers through his hair. His parents were coming round to the fact that he was gay, slowly, but they still weren't exactly accepting. "I don't care. Tell them I'm on an acid trip. A bad trip."

Isabelle laughed, and, despite everything, Alec smiled.

"I'm sure we'll think of something."

"You could..." Alec hesitated. "You could tell them the truth."

"They'll want to meet him if we tell them the truth. Soon."

Alec let out a bitter laugh. "Well, I can't keep it a secret forever. It's not like they don't know I'm a raging homosexual, even if they don't like it."

"But now?" Isabelle asked gently. "Do you want to deal with their shit now? When you've just met Magnus, and this has just happened?"

Alec sighed. "Alright, maybe that's not a good idea."

"How about I tell them the truth, but say that Magnus is a friend? Because that's true, right? You're friends."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Izzy."

"No problem." She paused, then said, "I cut the bond, by the way. It didn't hurt. At all. So I think it was the right decision. I haven't got another set of initials yet, but there's a bruise. I think the first letter is an L."

Smiling, he said, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe it'll be better this time."

"I guess soulmates aren't always perfect," Alec said. "Occasionally it's wrong."

"Maybe," Isabelle said. "Or maybe there are just...several options. And sometimes you've already met one. Like Simon had."

"Simon's a good guy, though. You're not going to hate him for this, are you?"

"No." He could hear the amusement in Isabelle's voice. "No, I think we're going to be friends. Honestly, I'm glad we decided to cut the bond quickly. I think this way we can be friends without things getting awkward."

"I'm really glad it's worked out," Alec told her. "I'll call you later, okay? When I get home, I'll call you. Or text you, if it's late."

"Alright. Good luck, big brother."

"You too."

They hung up. Something in Alec wished Isabelle, or Jace - or god, even Clary, who'd become a friend to him, bonding over their mutual exasperation regarding Jace and a love for art - could be there with him. Sitting in the hospital room, Magnus - _his soulmate_ \- asleep or unconscious or whatever exactly he was, was anxiety-inducing. Alec always let other people lean on him. But just once, he wished he had someone to stand by him, now.


	3. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus wakes up. Fluff galore.

It wasn't until nearly midnight, by which time Alec was struggling to keep his eyes open, that Magnus' eyelids fluttered, eyes shifting restlessly. Adrenaline surged through him, waking him up instantly, and he focused on Magnus' face; his fingers tightened involuntarily around Magnus' fingers, before he forced himself to relax.

"Ahhh," Magnus moaned, eyes screwing tightly shut before they blinked open. "Ow."

"Hey," Alec whispered.

Magnus looked over at him, rolling his head to the side slowly, as though he felt too stiff to move any faster. Alec supposed that made sense, after being hit by a car.

"Alec," he said, surprise colouring his features. "You're here."

Alec's lid quirked up at the corners, and he fought back the tears stinging in his eyes. God, what was wrong with him? He was supposed to be the strong one in this situation. Magnus was the one in the hospital, with broken bones and pins in his leg and bruised ribs and scratches all over his body.

"Yeah." Alec swallowed. "I'm here."

He realised, abruptly, that he was still holding Magnus' hand. He was holding Magnus' hand, and Magnus had no idea what they were to each other, yet. It was weird. It would seem weird to Magnus. He needed to extract his hand, but do it without drawing attention to their position. Magnus hadn't noticed yet, it seemed, and—

"You've hurt your wrist," Magnus stated, frowning down at Alec's cast.

"I'm fine. It's just a hairline fracture. You git hit by a car, Magnus. How are you feeling? Do you need me to call someone in? Do you—"

"Do you always worry so much?" Magnus looked amused. "I'm fine. They must have me on morphine, because I hurt a lot more when I was bleeding on the sidewalk."

Alec flinched. "You didn't need to do that, you know."

Magnus shrugged. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Alec echoed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means—"

Without warning, Magnus stilled, and cut himself off. His eyes were fixed on where Alec's hand held his. Alec felt a flush rise up his cheeks. He was about to withdraw his hand and apologise profusely, when he noticed the tears welling in Magnus' eyes.

"Oh my god," Magnus breathed. The hand that wasn't held in Alec's brushed against the drawings on his own arm, identical to the ones on Alec's arm. His eyes flickered up to meet Alec's. "It's you. It's- You're- Oh my god."

The tears spilt over, running down Magnus' cheeks and dripping off his chin. Alec's heart twisted.

"I thought– When we ran into each other at the sandwich bar, I thought I saw– But I wasn't sure, and I assumed I was wrong." Magnus shook his head, a smile breaking across his face. "It's you."

Alec felt tears rushing into his own eyes as he reached up to brush away Magnus' with his thumb. "You scared me," he whispered, blinking rapidly. "When that car hit you..." Alec closed his eyes, wincing at the memory. "God, Magnus."

"I'm sorry," Magnus murmured. "It was instinct. I guess even if I hadn't realised who you are, I'd realised it subconsciously." He laughed tiredly. "I'm sorry for both times. I'm sorry for disappearing on you."

"It's okay." Alec dropped his hand from Magnus' face and took his hand again. Two fully-functioning hands would have been very welcome right about then. "It's okay. You're here now. You're safe. It's okay."

"You're the reason I came to America, you know." He gave Alec a watery smile. "I was so tired of everything. I had to find you. I'm glad you told me you were American. Up until then, I'd always been planning on heading to London to start looking."

Alec chuckled. "And you were right. Your English is absolutely flawless."

"Probably better than yours," Magnus said teasingly.

"Probably," Alec agreed. "Magnus..."

"What?" Magnus asked, softly.

"I have no idea what I'm doing. I don't know how this works, or what I'm supposed to do now, or—"

"Alexander." Magnus shook his head with a smile. "Relax. I'm fairly sure there are no hard and fast rules. We date—assuming you'd like to?" He raised an eyebrow. Alec nodded. "And we do all those date things, and we try our best, and that's it." He paused, searching Alec's face. "What's wrong?"

"It's just— Do you remember all the things I told you that night at the bar? About my parents and my lack of a dating history and all that?"

Magnus nodded. "I do."

"My parents... They're still not okay with this. And it's not like I want to hide - I don't - but at the same time, you should know. It's not going to be easy with them. And then there's the fact that I don't even know how dating works, so—"

"Hush, darling," Magnus whispered, squeezing his hand. Alec's stomach turned over at the endearment. "It's okay. This?" He nodded to the identical marks on their arms. "This means we can work. That's the whole point. We fit. So let's take this for what it is, and just...enjoy it."

"Yeah." Alec smiled a little. "That sounds good. God, I'm sorry, I'm sitting here freaking out about stupid things while you're in a hospital bed."

"I told you, I'm fine."

"And I told you, I'm an older brother."

"Does that mean you've got older brother syndrome?" Magnus asked dryly. "Do you have a superiority complex?"

Alec glared at him. "No."

"I'm teasing you." His smile dropped away, and he sighed. "Seriously, Alec, there are things I know you want to know, and there are things I know I should tell you, but—"

"But," Alec interrupted him, "you got hit by a car less than twelve hours ago, so the only thing you're going to be focusing on is resting and getting better. Yes?"

Magnus laughed. "Yes, Doctor—" He stopped. "Fuck, I don't even know your last name."

"Lightwood," Alec said. "Alec Lightwood."

Magnus smiled, fingers rising to his collarbone and rubbing across a spot there. Was that where Alec's initials were permanently etched onto Magnus' skin? "Alec Lightwood. My fated. You have no idea how much I've relied on you. You and your stupid little doodles."

Alec grinned sheepishly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Magnus grinned. "Watching you draw was always incredible. Even if all that ink annoyed my parents. Paint smears, though..." He shrugged. "Paint smears kept clashing with my nail varnish. They're very endearing, but pink paint with light blue nails?" Magnus shuddered.

Alec smirked. "My apologies. I should- I should probably go and tell someone you're awake. The doctor asked me to let them know, when he came in to check on you earlier."

Magnus pouted. "But we have so much to talk about."

"And we have all the time in the world to discuss it." Alec ran his thumb across Magnus' knuckles. "I'll be back in a minute. And they might let you go soon, if you're coherent and can handle crutches. At least, that's what the nurse said."

"That does sound appealing." Magnus sighed. "My sofa is a lot more comfortable than this bed. And I need to feed my cat."

Alec raised his eyebrows. "You have a cat?"

"Mm. He's called Chairman Meow. He's two."

"You'll have to introduce me one day. But stop distracting me. I need to go and be a responsible visitor. I'll be right back, okay?"

Magnus nodded as Alec stood up, giving his fingers a final squeeze before they let go. "Hurry back, Soulmate," he whispered.

 _Soulmate_. God, it was so cheesy, but it made butterflies erupt in Alec's stomach. Besides, it wasn't the first time Magnus had called him that. Years ago, when Magnus had nearly died—

"I will. I promise. I'll be two minutes." Before he could overthink it, Alec leant over Magnus and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. The mark on his hip feat warm. "Two minutes."

***

Once the doctor had deemed Magnus well enough to go home, having given him very specific instructions about how much activity he was allowed to do while his leg healed, Alec bore witness, for the first time (but most certainly not the last) to one of Magnus' clothing catastrophes.

"I can't believe they burned my shirt," Magnus huffed. "That was one of my favourite shirts. They didn't even ask! Jeans, well, jeans are easily replaced, but that particular quality of silk, and that perfect a fit..." He made an unhappy noise. "I will never find one the same. At least your jacket survived, I suppose."

Alec shook his head, trying to fight back his grin. "What is it you like so much about my jacket?"

"It's leather, you looked hot as sin in it, and you gave it to me when I was cold. That's the epitome of romance, and you didn't even realise." Magnus smiled up at him from where he was tugging on his boots (well, boot, singular, because the other one didn't fit over his cast), which looked far too fashionable against the sweatpants and t-shirt, Alec's sweater balled in his lap, ready to be tugged on before they got outside. "I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you, but even if this is a cosmic error, I'm not going to correct it."

Alec felt his cheeks heating up. He looked pointedly away. "Shut up," he muttered.

Magnus' laughter met his ears. "I can't believe you're still here. It's four o'clock in the morning."

Alec frowned at him. "Well, where else would I be? I sound like a broken record, but you got _hit by a car_. I could hardly just go home, could I?"

"Alexander, the last time I was in a hospital..." Magnus' expression dropped, but, to Alec's surprise, he kept talking. "The last time I was in a hospital, all I had for company, other than the doctors and nurses, was a teddy bear with one ear. I've still got the bear, actually."

And if Magnus bleeding and slipping in and out of consciousness on the sidewalk earlier, whimpering, hadn't broken Alec's heart, that sure as hell did.

"Not a story for right now, perhaps." Magnus smiled wryly. "But my point is, I barely know you, and I think you're incredible. So just...be kinder to yourself."

Alec wasn't quite sure what to say to that, so, after a moment of stuttering, he said, "Come on. You need to get home and rest."

Magnus sighed. "I don't want to get on that thing." He jerked his head at the wheelchair the doctor had insisted upon. Alec didn't understand why Magnus couldn't go out of the hospital on crutches, if that was what he'd be using for the next three-plus months, but he wasn't going to argue with the doctor.

"I don't want to work a Saturday shift in a café because I've chosen a low-income career, but sadly, needs must." Alec held out his hand for Magnus to pass him the sweater so he could get into the chair while manoeuvring his truly enormous cast.

It took them a while to get out of the hospital, owing mostly to Alec having only a single working hand to push the wheelchair, partially to the exceptionally unhelpful hospital staff who refused to help (or even move out of the way), and partially to Magnus' sharp inhales of pain every time a jarring movement made his ribs hurt.

"Fuck," Magnus said, when they were outside and Alec was in the process of hailing a taxi. "I'm ready to be better, now. This is not fun."

"I know," Alec said, pulling open the taxi door, "and I'm very sorry, but you need to get in here, because I don't know your address."

"Ughhhh." Magnus wrinkled his nose. Alec thought it was probably an inappropriate moment to notice how adorable Magnus looked when he did that, but he noticed it anyway. "But that's going to hurt."

Alec couldn't help it. He was exhausted - he'd been up for nearing twenty-four hours - and, while he generally considered himself a fairly patient person, that flew out of the window when he was that tired. Even if he had just met his soulmate.

So, as gently as he could, he hooked one arm behind Magnus' back, his injured arm under his knees, using the crook of his elbow rather than his wrist, and lifted him out of the wheelchair and onto the backseat. Magnus stared at him as Alec set him down and moved back.

"Okay?" Alec asked, trying to ignore how red his face had probably gone.

"Yes. Thank you."

Alec slammed the door shut while Magnus told the driver his address, walking round to the other side before he climbed in. He felt Magnus' eyes on him again as he buckled his seatbelt and checked his phone to make sure Isabelle or Jace hadn't called him for anything.

"I'm sorry," he said to Magnus, a little bit sheepish. "Grabbing you without your permission, I—"

"No, it's fine. More than fine. It's just... Don't you want to go home?"

Alec blinked. "Well, yes, but I assumed you'd- I was going to make sure you're okay, first. You know, if you needed anything, or..." He trailed off at the look on Magnus' face. "Obviously if you want me to go, I understand. You probably—"

"No," Magnus said softly. "I don't want you to go. I was just struggling to comprehend how unfailing and impossibly kind you are."

Alec bit his lower lip. "I don't have to. If you don't want me to. Really."

"From the bottom of my heart, as ridiculous and cliché as it sounds, you saved my life, Alec. Just by existing. Just by being you, and drawing all your beautiful little drawings. There have been so many times in my life when I've needed something to hold onto. You were that, to me. The knowledge that you existed, drawing all these random, beautiful little things. And I don't want to make this overly heavy and intense, but meeting you..." Magnus sucked in a deep breath, eyes bright and soft despite how much pain he had to be in. "Meeting you, finally, is the best thing that's happened to me for a very long time."

Yet again, Alec was struck speechless. So, rather than fumble around his words and make a huge great mess of everything, he merely held out his hand, palm up, towards Magnus. Magnus grasped his hand. Alec squeezed. Magnus squeezed back.

"I don't mind," Alec said after several seconds of silence. "What you said, about making it heavy and intense... I don't mind. This whole thing is pretty heavy and intense already. Soulmates. It's all... It's all intense. Like you said, we should enjoy this. But not by hiding things because they're not light and fluffy."

Magnus looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. "If I had alcohol, I'd drink to that."

Alec huffed out a laugh. "The sentiment is appreciated."

They were quiet on the remainder of the taxi drive, although Alec felt like he was brimming with questions and things he wanted to know about Magnus. Big things, like why he'd had to move out of Indonesia, and what exactly had happened that day he'd nearly died, but also smaller things. Did he prefer Italian or Chinese food? Where had he picked up his extraordinary fashion tastes? What were his favourite TV shows?

He knew little bits. He knew, for example, that Magnus didn't have any siblings, because they'd touched on the topic over coffee, before— Before everything else. But he felt like he wanted to know everything.

Alec paid the taxi driver when they reached Magnus' apartment building, much to Magnus' chagrin, and then held open all the doors while Magnus manoeuvred himself through - with surprising dexterity - on his crutches.

"Doesn't your building have a lift?" Alec asked, when Magnus began to make his way up the stairs, slowly.

"No." Magnus paused for breath, propping himself carefully against the wall. "Considering how beautiful and gorgeous my loft is, and considering the rent price, this place looks like a dump outside."

They finished climbing the stairs, which were narrow and rickety, and Magnus managed to balance himself and his crutches for long enough to open the front door.

"You can come in," Magnus said with a smile upon noting Alec's hesitation. "I have coffee." There was a plaintive little meow from around Magnus' ankles that drew both their attention. "And I have a cat."

The cat - Chairman Meow, had Magnus said? - meowed again, staring up at Magnus with huge, mournful eyes. It was a tiny tabby cat, probably small enough to fit in Alec's palm, and, clearly, it had missed its owner.

"You're embarrassing yourself," Magnus told the cat. "I've only been gone twelve hours. It's not like it hasn't happened before. Stop complaining."

The cat meowed yet again. Alec thought the entire exchange was utterly adorable. Especially Magnus talking to his cat as though it could understand everything he was saying. The cat rubbed against Magnus' ankle, as though hoping Magnus would bend down and pay it some attention. Magnus sighed, and nudged Chairman Meow away with a crutch.

"I can't stroke you, Chairman, I can barely stay upright. Go and bother Alec instead."

And, as though he really could understand every word Magnus spoke, Chairman Meow meowed at Alec, and jumped on the toe of his boot as though it were a mouse that he wanted to catch. Alec laughed at that, and crouched down to stroke between the cat's ears. It purred, rubbing its head into Alec's palm.

"Well, you have the seal of approval from my cat," Magnus said dryly. "You've met the family. Success."

Alec paused, and looked up at Magnus, who was swinging himself towards a plush red sofa. "Didn't you have someone looking after you after you moved out of Indonesia? Aren't they like family?"

"No. To both questions." Magnus plopped himself down, and threw his crutches on the floor with a moan. "I hated the people who looked after me in Spain. That's why I was so desperate to find you."

"Oh." Alec straightened up. "I'm so sorry."

Magnus shrugged. "I'll tell you about it another time. Right now... I know you're my guest, but I'm really, really craving chamomile tea, and if I move I think my ribs are going to explode."

"That was sort of why I came up here," Alec said with a smile. "Milk?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

The two of them sat sipping tea and talking intermittently about little things for about an hour, before both of them started cutting themselves off by yawning.

"Sleep," Magnus said. "I need sleep. God, my sleep schedule is going to be fucked. Although I feel like I could easily sleep for twenty-four hours, so maybe not."

"It's the weekend, so it's not the end of the world."

"True." Magnus smiled at him. "I have a guest room. You're more than welcome to stay. I'd feel bad sending you home after all you've done for me."

"Is this just a ploy to keep me around so I can wait on you?" Alec asked, grinning.

"You've caught me." Magnus clicked his crutches together. "If you do that evil thing where you steal my crutches and put them just out of reach, I will cry, and I will not go on a date with you on Tuesday night."

Alec blinked at him. "Um, I wasn't going to. That seems kind of cruel. And...a date? Tuesday?"

Magnus shrugged. "If you want to."

"Of course I want to!" Alec flushed at his tone of voice, and controlled himself before he said, "I mean, yeah. Okay. That- that sounds nice."

Magnus ducked his head, smiling, and said, "I always planned on suggesting something exciting for my first date with my soulmate, but as I'm somewhat incapacitated, how does Italian sound?"

Alec's expression softened. "I don't need exciting. You are...more than enough. And Italian sounds great."

"You are far too lovely," Magnus said. "But I am quite literally about to pass out, so I'm going to head to bed now. I'll show you where the guest room is."

Alec followed Magnus down the hallway, carrying two glasses of water with him. Magnus gestured to the guest bedroom, and told him to ask if he needed anything, before pointing out the bathroom ("I have my own, so don't worry about me walking in on you.") and his own bedroom.

Magnus' bedroom seemed to be centred around the most enormous and enticing four-poster bed, covered with deep purple sheets. There was an extortionate amount of jewellery on the table Alec set the glass down on.

"Well, goodnight, Alec." Magnus tilted his head slightly to the side, and said, "Or, perhaps, good morning."

Alec smiled back at him. "Goodnight - or morning. If you need something—well, I came back with you in case you needed help, so- I mean, not that I don't think you can take care of things on your own, but—"

"Shh." Magnus placed his finger ever-so-gently over Alec's lips, barely touching. "I know. Thank you, Alexander. Really, thank you. For everything."

"I– You're welcome?"

Magnus let out a tiny little laugh. "Goodnight, Alec."

"Yeah." Alec couldn't look away from Magnus' brown eyes, liquid-soft in the early morning light. He kissed Magnus' cheek. "Goodnight, Magnus."

As he turned away to leave the room, he saw Magnus lift his fingers to brush across where Alec had kissed him, lips curving upwards as he followed Alec out with his eyes.

Alec already felt halfway in love with Magnus Bane.

***

Their date on Tuesday night followed two days of intense squealing and interrogation from Isabelle. Alec loved his little sister, but when she demanded to know whether he and Magnus had slept together yet, he put his foot down.

"Well, Jace and Clary had sex like, two days into knowing each other. Sorry, Clary," she added, when Clary spluttered next to Jace on the sofa.

"How many times do I have to say this?" he asked, exasperated. "He was hit _by a car_."

Seeing Magnus walk (or swing-hop, on his crutches) through the door to the restaurant, looking slightly frazzled and distracted, made something tumultuous in Alec's stomach settle, every tense muscle in his body easing. It was so strange. He'd always thought that a soulmate was just...the person you would be perfect with. But it felt like more than that. They barely knew each other, really, and it felt like so much more than that.

Magnus' expression softened and relaxed all at once when he spotted Alec.

"Hey," he said, when he reached the table. "I'm so sorry I'm late. There's a murder case at the station, and they had us all working late. I was going to call, but I thought I'd make it, and then I remembered that I can't really use the subway." Magnus looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

Alec shook his head and pushed out Magnus' chair for him. "Don't worry about it. I was going to order you wine, but I realised I wasn't sure what you liked."

Magnus lowered himself carefully, and propped his crutches against the wall. Alec had asked for a table by a wall specifically for that purpose. "If it's alcoholic, I'll drink it. I'm not really that fussy about drinks."

They spent the rest of the evening quietly enjoying themselves over delicious food. Magnus brought up a list of twenty questions _The New York Times_ thought you should ask your soulmate. Some were silly, making both of them laugh, some mundane things that they already knew about each other, and a few were more serious.

"Have you ever dated someone else?" Magnus read aloud, and grimaced. "I think we know the answer to this one."

"No, I haven't," Alec said. "And I don't mind that you have."

Magnus looked up at him. "I haven't ever seriously dated someone. Summer flings, hook-ups... I've had a few of those. But never anything like this."

They held each other's gaze for a minute, the moment charged with the weight of emotion. Magnus was running patterns into the back of Alec's hand, where they'd clasped hands across the table, and it was all Alec could do not to lean over their wine glasses and food to kiss him.

Not now. Now wasn't the right moment.

They left the restaurant a little before eleven, Magnus lamenting about the fact that using crutches meant he couldn't hold Alec's hand. Alec laughed, wondering, somewhere in the back of his mind, how it could feel so easy to be around Magnus, so seamless and honest and comfortable, when they weren't really much more than strangers.

Alec walked Magnus home. He declined Magnus' offer of a drink, because it was late, and Jocelyn, who had employed him almost the moment he graduated, wanted him at the studio early the next morning to start work on a commission from a school who wanted their complex drama set created in a matter of days.

"Goodnight, then, Alec," Magnus said, standing on the threshold of his apartment. Alec could see Chairman Meow asleep on the arm of the sofa behind him.

On impulse, Alec lifted his hand to brush his knuckles against Magnus' cheek. "Goodnight, Magnus."

Magnus let go of a crutch, letting it dangle from his elbow, and caught Alec's hand before he could withdraw it, twining their fingers together against Magnus' face. "Can I see you again, soon?"

Alec's lips parted in surprise. "I- I mean- _Yes_. Of course."

Magnus smiled, and pressed a kiss to the inside of Alec's wrist. "Okay."

Alec couldn't look away, searching his eyes - for what, he didn't know - as Magnus ran circles into Alec's skin with his thumb.

"Magnus," he whispered. "Magnus..."

Magnus' eyes were soft, reassuring, as though he understood exactly what Alec was saying, even though Alec wasn't quite sure himself. He tipped his head up a little to better meet Alec's gaze, and a tiny smile evolved onto his lips.

Alec kissed him.

It wasn't at all what Alec expected his first kiss to be. It was unhurried, warm, making his heart ache even as it was racing, lips sliding together and over each other slowly. Magnus' other hand found his neck, tugging him closer, and Alec wrapped his free arm around Magnus' waist, concerned, even while he was being kissed, that Magnus had shattered his femur not even a week ago.

"Alec," Magnus breathed against his lips, eyelashes caressing his skin as they pulled apart for a moment, eyes meeting, before falling back together. It was hotter, this time, and harder. More desperate, but still with an edge of infinite tenderness.

It was all-powerful, consuming him until all he could focus on was Magnus. The contact between them, lips slipping and tongues teasing, Magnus' teeth raking gently over his lip and making him shiver. The pounding of Magnus' heart almost in time with his. The way Magnus made a rough sound in the back of his throat that Alec felt more than heard when he sucked Magnus' lower lip into his mouth.

When they broke the kiss, Alec rested his forehead against Magnus', loathe to open his eyes. He felt Magnus move one hand back to his crutch, and then opened his eyes, moving back so he could see Magnus properly.

"That was..." Alec shook his head, speechless. "I've never felt anything like that."

Magnus was smiling broadly, eyes shining. He squeezed Alec's hand. "Neither have I," he whispered. "You're beautiful, Alexander."

Alec's heart tightened and squirmed in his chest. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath to remind himself how his lungs worked. "So are you," he managed to get out, which seemed so inadequate for what he really thought about Magnus. "You're... You're _you_. You're _gorgeous_."

Impossibly, Magnus' smile widened. "Thank you, darling."

They stood like that for a moment, gazing at each other, hands still clasped, Alec's arm still around Magnus' waist, before Magnus winced a little, doing a little involuntary jerk with his shoulders that Alec had come to realise meant his ribs hurt.

"I should let you go," Alec said, brushing the backs of his fingers against Magnus' jawline.

"I'll see you soon," Magnus promised, and kissed Alec's knuckles, and then his cheek, and then brushed their lips together.

"Yeah." Alec could feel the blush on his face, but he forced himself not to care. "I hope so."

"But until then–" Magnus threw him a glittery wink "–call me?"

That made Alec so flustered he nearly fell down the stairs.

***

They'd been dating for nearly five months, living together for one, Magnus having won over the Lightwood parents and Alec haging gained the seal of approval from Magnus' friends, when Alec found the courage to ask Magnus about that day, so many years ago, when he'd sat in his bedroom, clutching at Jace and Izzy in terror while he watched his soulmarks fade.

Magnus had had his cast taken off a month ago, to his utter elation, and had been going to physio three times a week since. And, earlier in the day, his physiotherapist had given him the all-clear to do things that had been severely restricted, before—including things of a sexual nature.

When Alec had gone to pick him up, Magnus had (quite literally) leapt into his arms, grinning and pressing kisses to every inch of Alec's face, his excitement utterly contagious. When they'd got back to Magnus' apartment, Alec had cooked, and then both of them had been eager to celebrate, in Magnus' - _their_ \- bed, doing things they'd only teased at previously. Magnus had taken Alec to places he'd never even known existed, despite their previous (limited) sexual endeavours.

And, contrary to what Alec had presumed, his virginity had not been much of a hindrance at all. Not when Magnus was so calm and patient and relaxed about the whole thing. In fact, it hadn't just felt incredible, it had also been _fun_. They'd laughed, giggled, teased each other. It had been so easy.

The marks on their skin with each other's initials on - Alec's on his hip, Magnus' just below his collarbone - had, over the last months, changed into each other's names. Alec hadn't known that would happen, until he woke up to find extra letters on his soulmark, and then more, and more, until _Magnus Bane_ was branded across his hip. Jace said that was the last stage, when Alec had asked. The last thing that finished a bond. It could still be cut, technically, but the likelihood of wanting to was even more minuscule. Magnus liked to tease Alec about Jace being his soulmate encyclopedia. 

Magnus was tracing his fingers over the mark, slowly, absently, as they lay sprawled out together in Magnus' enormous (and exceptionally comfortable) bed, entirely unclothed, limbs tangled together. Magnus was half draped across Alec, Alec's arm curled around his waist, holding him close.

He was utterly in love with this man. Not that he'd told Magnus that yet. But he was.

"Magnus?" Alec whispered, breaking the silence. "Can I ask you something?"

Magnus craned his neck to look up at him and nodded. "Anything."

"That day, when you— When you were hurt, and you told me you had to be moved from Indonesia—"

"I killed my parents."

Alec frowned at him. "It wasn't your fault. You were– What, eleven? Twelve? You told me your father tried to drown you. That's not your fault, Magnus. That's self-defence."

Magnus sighed, curling up tighter against Alec, running his fingers over the lines of Alec's chest. "You know, you're the only person I've ever had defend what I did that day so easily. I'd almost forgotten I told you all that. My mother hanged herself because they realised I was the product of rape. When my father - or my step-father, I suppose - found her, he told me it was all my fault. Which, technically, it was."

Alec was appalled at that. "You had nothing to do with your mother being raped. You weren't even born. How could that possibly fault?"

"I existed. I didn't die. I was conceived."

"No." Alec tightened his hold on Magnus, anger spilling through him that the world had made Magnus think that. "No, Magnus."

"I appreciate the sentiment, darling. My father - step-father - beat me, wrapped a rope around my neck to drag me outside with. And then he tried to drown me. I told you what happened then."

Alec felt tears drip onto his chest. He ran his fingers through Magnus' hair in an attempt to provide some comfort, but he didn't say anything else to interrupt.

"I ran to our neighbours. Dragged myself. I don't know. I barely remember it. I just remember that everything hurt. So, so much. It was a small town, where we lived. You'd consider it a tiny little village. They knew my father had always been a violent man. You might have realised that." Magnus smiled wryly. Alec had, of course, worked out that the strange red marks he'd used to find on his arms were bruises from fingers and crescent-shaped cuts where nails had dug into flesh. "They took me to the hospital, but they didn't stay with me. I don't know exactly what happened to me. But when I woke up, they told me I'd nearly died. And my first thought - or maybe by second or third, after, _holy fucking shit_ \- was you. All I had in that hospital was an ancient teddy bear that had belonged to my mother when she was a girl, and your ridiculous little doodles." Magnus' voice went suddenly rough. "Talking to you, there, was the most comforting thing I'd ever felt. And you were kind to me even then."

"You deserve kindness," Alec murmured, pressing a kiss to Magnus' temple, long and lingering. "You deserve everything."

Magnus let out something between a laugh and a sob at that. Whatever it was, it broke Alec's heart; he wrapped his arms tighter around Magnus, tucking Magnus' head gently under his chin and dropping a kiss to his hair, damp from their earlier shower.

"They sent me to a place in Spain. My mother's extended family owned a church-based orphanage, so I stayed there, for years. But it...it wasn't a nice place. They saw the marks on my arms, where I'd been talking to you, and they told me that communicating with my soulmate like that went against God. Which is bullshit, I've never heard any other Catholic - or anyone else - say that, but they weren't exactly normal. They told me all sorts of crazy-ass things about soulmates. They had insane rules and rituals, and I hated it. Passionately. I held onto the idea that the day I turned eighteen I could leave, and find you. That was what got me through that place."

Alec's own eyes stung with tears at that, and he had to lift a hand away from Magnus to wipe at his face. "I am so sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, and deal with it alone. I can't imagine... I can't imagine any of it."

"It's okay." Magnus gazed up at him, eyes a little red. "I've made a better life in New York. I've got friends. Cat and Ragnor and Tessa are the best friends I've ever had. And I found you, didn't I?"

Alec couldn't stop himself. "I love you, Magnus."

Magnus didn't miss a beat, his lips curling upwards into a brilliant smile. "I love you too, Alexander. So much."

"I'm so glad I found you," Alec whispered, tracing Magnus' lips with a fingertip. "Even if it took us a while to realise it, I'm so glad I know you. I'm so glad I have you."

"And I, you. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to call mine, my darling."

Alec's heart fluttered at that. _His. Magnus'._ He was Magnus', and Magnus was his. Forever. For as long as they lived.

He liked the sound of that.

"I love you," he said again, because he didn't know how else to put this all-consuming feeling of sheer adoration into words. "I love you."

They kissed, long and slow and sweet, and Alec suddenly understood that awful cliché of feeling like your home was the arms of someone else. He couldn't imagine belonging anywhere other than Magnus Bane's warm embrace.


End file.
